Bridget Jones Goes Live Journal
by Stalker
Summary: Meet the Third World Bridget Jones - tanned and brunette and ONLINE! One question remains - is there really life after Mark Darcy?


November 30, 2002 2:30PM  
  
Mood: morose Weight: 150 lbs and going strong Weather: humid Music: Can we still be friends?  
  
Dear LJ diary,  
  
It has been two years since I broke up with Mark Darcy for three obvious reasons: first, I become cold turkey every time I receive bullets in our mailbox. Second, I can never be civil with Natasha since she became Mark's senior bed partner. And third, I can't stand freezing temperatures in London. I'm starting to develop fish scales. Therefore, I decided to move to the Far East and settle in a place called Manila where the sun is prickly hot and blondes become easy targets of Abu Sayyaf. Anyway, I got my tan and dyed my hair black since Day 1. I'm safe. Don't worry, mum.  
  
4:10PM  
  
Mood: dorky Weight: never mind Weather: still humid Music: Live and Let Die  
  
I got myself a job here as a news writer. Would you believe that my work has been read live over the national TV from 6PM - 7PM? Yer right there. I don't have to wear that fireman suit anymore. Everyone wants me having worked before with BBC. And partly because no one speaks English here the way I do.  
  
I'm doing a cover for Mister Bonifacio Day. Another saintly hero who wrote..oh shiet! What?! He didn't even finish high school? Where did I get this feed by the way? Uh-oh, I have to go. The line producer has gone into major hysteria again.  
  
11:10PM  
  
Mood: drained Weight: I think I lost 10lbs today, do the math Weather: still humid, I think we're one step closer to hell Music: some Britney junk playing  
  
For the past 12 months, I have earned a little fortune for myself. I bought this townhouse somewhere in Balete Drive, New Manila which was rumored to be haunted. Oh crap, would you believe that? LOL! I wish Mark is here. I miss him like hell sometimes especially on nights when he would cook dinner and does something whatever comes after that. Hah, if Mark would only know that a British Pound is equivalent to P75-P80, he would have left Natasha and settled with me instead. But knowing him, he loves New York, the perks and everything that goes along with his title. I dunno exactly what happened to that scum, but I think that evil witch Natasha has totally poisoned his mind. I can't save him.  
  
I also wonder what has become of Daniel Cleaver. The last time I heard from him was also two years ago before I left London. He was living in with another lassie he picked up somewhere along the streets near Notting Hill. I can tell from his looks he's got AIDS already. But he won't die yet.  
  
Bad seeds die hard.  
  
December 1, 2002 10:35AM  
  
Mood: drained to the bones Weight: I think I lost 20 lbs today, go figure Weather: sunny Music: modem  
  
I woke up late, the sun already up. Not the typical British mornings when everything is quiet. It's like waking up to your worst nightmares - no Mark to prepare breakfast and clean the dishes, can't go jogging around the neighborhood because local folks here thought jogging is silly and there's a karaoke session going on next door apartment. Guess what they love to belt out? All By Myself. My theme! Anddd.I hired a helper (they call her "Manang") who doesn't understand my need to cut down on calories and fats. She serves me pork longaniza, fried eggs and rice for breakfast and pork adobo and rice (again) for dinner. The same cycle the following day. I can't blame her for the high-carbo diet. Rice is like water to them.  
  
I have to see the morning papers and buy cereals somewhere.  
  
1:35PM  
  
Mood: I want to kill somebody Weight: Gained 5 lbs after eating adobo. Weather: I don't miss heaters anymore Music: Kylie Minogue MP3  
  
I received an LJ comment from a certain Looking4U: "ASL please?" Looked up for his profile and here's what I got. Username: Looking4U Birth Date: none of your business. Location: Transylvannia, Romania Bio : An eligible bachelor looking for someone to marry. Don't worry, I have a lucrative business and fat bank account. In fact, I can support a 12-member harem. Girls anyone interested?  
  
Here's what I wrote back: "Go and buy your own Barbies and GET LOST!" What a way to end up a beautiful weekend (squirm) 


End file.
